Elephant hugs are awesome

Many things have happened since our last post. We’ve either been in the middle of nowhere or just in places that had really shitty to no internet connection.

Langebaan was rainy and shitty but we met an awesome cat and had some yummy local fish. Heading away from the coast and towards better weather we found ourselves in the Cedarburg. This is an area that the Khoi San people used to call their home  before we absorbed and eradicated them. (Those are the folks that talk with the clicks.) We stayed in a beautiful bush camp that was guarded by a real Timbre Wolf named Hoka. Trust me this was no dog.

My fellow beer lovers will be impressed when I tell you that our next port of call was more wineries, but we managed to find the only B&B that was also a microbrewery and we stayed there. The beer was fantastic (in comparison to what you usually get in South Africa) and we drank a lot of it. Six or seven (neither of us can remember exactly) wineries later we headed on to Oudtshoorn and the land of ostriches.

Highlights of this funny little town were hugging baby elephants, petting baby cheetahs, squeezing through damp caves and restraining myself from punching an obnoxious South African politician that has “been to Vancouver many times”, has “heard the name Meg Zuccaro” and loves “staying in Banff when he’s in Vancouver”. What a prick.

We’re now sitting having breakfast in the transit town of Beaufort West. Not much worth anything here but Matt did get his first taste of rude, poor, unmannered little 12 year olds practically taking money from your pockets. He also kicked an old man for good measure. The kid did, not Matt. All that aside, we are in a beautiful garden in a B&B with nothing but blue sky above and heading to a tequila tasting later today.

Check back soon!

Cheetahs and owls and eagles, oh my!

Not much of an explanation needed here. We drank wine, we played with cheetahs, and Matt almost had his arm crushed by a black eagle. 485 pounds per square inch, per talon… holy F. Don’t worry Nico, he can still flip a pan.

Speaking of Nico, we’re in Stellenbosch with his sister, Carolyn, right now. What an awesome family. Their hospitality is phenomenal and their kids are very entertaining.

Check out the pictures of us living it up in the wine country. FYI, all the birds and animals that you see in captivity were rescued from bad circumstances and the ones that are fit to be released we be set free when they are well enough. The money we paid to be able to pet the cheetah goes to a dog training program that keeps these beautiful cats away from farmers animals. This ensures that fewer farmers will kill cheetahs to protect their farms and in turn helps preserve the species.

Enjoy!

Pancakes, penguins and poor decisions

Breakfast was boboti filled pancakes at the V&A Waterfront, followed by beers served by “YoYo” at Mitchells Brewery. We took a drive around my old hood and then headed to the Blue Peter Hotel to have a few brews by the beach.

An afternoon of beaches was followed by a drive up Chapmans Peak around to Simons Town where we ran into a few penguins making their way up a drain from the ocean to a warm bed for the night. Matt was very friendly with the little birds and like any tourist to a new land thought that this lovely bird would like nothing more than a pet from an international visitor.

FYI, penguins probably think you’re going to give them fish. Especially in an area where tourists flock to see them. When you reach down your hand to say hello, they are probably going to bite you. Too bad Matt didn’t read this advice before making that move. Check out the pics:

Pat, Matt is still alive.

That’s all.

If only we remembered the Gastrolyte…

Yes that is a condom wrapped wiener.

This is what I love so much about New York… we managed to start our day off with a fantastic breakfast that was quite quickly followed by a beer in a a bar that had two, yes two, condom wrapped wieners on the jukebox.

For everyone that has never had the poops, Gastrolyte is great for restoring hydration to your system. It works wonders for hangovers… if you can remember to take it. We couldn’t. So we spend more time than was necessary trying to get to the airport after two hours of sleep and Matt is still suffering from a case of the “hung over retard” as we sit in our room here in Cape Town.

But I’m getting ahead of myself: New York. In a word, wow! This city deserves more than the 2 nights and 1 day that we dedicated to it. We ate at some of its top restaurants, drank a few brews at the skeeziest bar I have EVER had the pleasure of frequenting  and randomly stumbled around in the rain looking for one last beer until 4am. Epic.

Pat and Mia, thank you so much for your hospitality. Chris, I hope that your shoes dried out pretty quickly. Nico, I will kill you at pool one day. New York, expect us back real soon.

Check out some random pics from the points in the day where is was still capable of getting my camera to function:

The most disgusting washroom in the world… there were flies chillin on the seat

Dive bar in the lower east side of Manhattan

Heaven: Whole Foods Beer Store

Yes that is a condom wrapped wiener.

New York, New York, New Yooorrrkkk…

So you don’t get much better than an apartment blocks from Times Square. Just remember, you can’t pay for a Subway pass with fried chicken. They only accept cash. Right side up, C’mon now!

Pyramid Shock Top, Tequila and Taco Salad… Hello Phoenix!

So we’re laying over for a few hours in the Arizona heat waiting for our flight to the Big Apple. The only place in the Phoenix airport that seemed remotely palatable is a place called Taberna Del Tequila. Tequila shots are $3 when you order a beer and they have two Pyramid beers on tap! Suddenly, I am not that bothered by this ridiculously dull airport: it was just after 11am when we had our first shots… the day is starting well.

Vince, I love you. Our first time in first class was an incredible surprise. I’m sure Meg can describe Matt’s lovely demeanor as we entered the customs zone at YVR. As soon as we realized where we were sitting, he was all smiles (like the picture beside). We cannot thank you enough for the unexpected comfort.

Pat – Matt is still alive.

To my parents: it was awesome to have you at the airport this morning. Thanks for everything that you have contributed to this trip. Matt and I are eternally greatful. Expect much sucking up and many bottles of wine as penance.

To all my friends who spent so much time and effort in seeing me off over the last week, I love you all SO much! I promise to drink many a pint in your honour.

Next stop… New York! Nico… you will not be sending me to bed early!

Less than a week…

So its less than a week before we leave on our epic South African adventure… holy shit I still have so many things to do!

For those who are interested in our progress this is a blog to keep track of our random treks for your info as well as our later enjoyment. I will do my best to update it often.

Love you all!

Nicole and Matt

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